Niagara Falls

I planned to leave at 6am but finally got going at about 11am, not too impressive. Despite Heidi's assurances that 'it only ever rains for half an hour' i am lightly spattered for almost the whole 90 miles to Niagara Falls, making me miss my mudguards a lot. The route starts off promisingly with a lakefront path full of every type of wheeled urban creature - roller blades, skateboards, bikes, recumbents, prams and I hope it's going to be like this all the way. There's something about well-used urban leisure routes like this, it feels very happy and cool to be amongst the wheeled crowd like this. It's just a pity that nobody invited any tumbleweeds, I guess they would have felt a bit out of place though.

But the path soon ends and turns into short sections of path through suburbia, very difficult to follow and ride flowingly as I keep losing the route and having to back up. Usually I ditch routes like that and get on the road, but the lakefront boulevard is a grinding dual carriageway which I don't fancy.

A mountain-biking middle-aged south african spots me looking at the map signposts and takes pity on me, explaining in his thick saffer accent the route ahead. We end up riding together for a few miles. He tells me that I look very relaxed on the bike and I realise it’s true, being on the bike feels just like being in a comfy armchair, it just feels right, and my legs turn smoothly and slowly, putting down just enough power and at the right time to carve smoothly round the corners. He is on his first ride after the winter and looks like he is fighting the bike, holding on rigidly, legs pumping.

We chat a little about South Africa, he says he was lucky to get out with most of his money. He loves the polite society in Canada, saying that in SA it is very different, more aggressive, you get what you want and screw everyone else. I think about other South African people I know and ponder. He treats his new-found politeness like someone who has learnt a new language, using it proudly and as often as possible but without any subtlety, forcefully saying hello thank you excuse me to other people on the path whether they need it or not. It is an interesting chat and we are both sorry when it is time for him to turn back, but he is doing 15km and I’m doing 144km so it has to happen at some point.

After the bike path there is 80 miles of city, urban, suburban or industrial roads into a headwind, looking at the storm clouds all around me and listening to the roar of the motorway 50 feet away. I do not enjoy this ride at all due to the urban grind, and the usual long-ride gentle nausea creeps up to make it hard to eat the necessary food so I start to run out of energy about 20 miles before the industrial-estate motel with dirty carpet that heidi has booked me into. I get there exhausted, have a kip, stuff down food from the nearest restaurant and turn in.

My plans for an early start are once again foiled and I roll at 1030, hungry as hell and feeling a bit lethargic because of it. But a few km later I am coming into the tacky tourist vegas-lite town of Niagara Falls itself. I laugh at the buildings made up to look like Frankenstein and all the rest of it, but it’s also kinda cool and funny, and full of people having fun.




I come over the brow of a hill and suddenly there they are, Niagara Falls themselves. It is always strange to finally visit one of those places you’ve heard about and seen on TV all your life, it can feel a little unreal to start with. The falls are beautiful, but seem smaller than I imagined until I realise the scale and just how far away from them I still am, they are nearly 200 ft high.



The day is sunny, it’s a cool place and I don’t really feel like a 90 mile grind home through the urban sprawl, my least favourite riding, so I cruise a round a little before jumping into a Days Inn, ditching my gear, wolfing down a burger king and getting straight onto the famous ‘maid of the mist’.


It gives a good view of the falls from right up against them, going up to within 30metres or so and giving us a good soaking with the spray. Most impressive. Tour helicopters buzz overhead, mostly Jetrangers until a mean-looking coastguard Dauphin cuts over the falls in a fast banking spiral, turbines whistling over the grinding noise of the blades. I want one.

I spend the rest of the day wandering around, or reading my book (The Yiddish Policeman’s Union by Michael Chabon, superb), or thinking about life in general. For some reason something clicks and I get my drive and motivation back. For the last year if I haven’t been actively riding or planning logistics then I’ve just been sitting around reading, without the energy or motivation to start a project or anything like that. But this snaps in Niagara Falls and I’m back to my old self.

I’m not fussed about going out and getting blitzed or eating in a restaurant so I get a 7-11 sandwich, eat in the room and get an early night ready for the proposed early start next day.

I manage to get rolling by 9am, the day is fine but very hot at 30C, I know it’s only gonna get worse and sap my energy but what the hell, I’m looking forwards to the ride. I take a slightly different route for the first part, going through vineyards rather than industrial lakefront, much nicer. But eventually I have to get back into the sprawl and slog along, looking forwards to making the turn around the end of the lake where the headwind will turn into a tailwind. I take it easy to make it more enjoyable, occasionally stopping at cafes or to chill by the lake, and enjoying the last few miles of bike path into the city.

The last stretch is rush-hour city-centre traffic, always more aggressive than other times of the day, and the tramlines make the riding much more dangerous and skilful. But I prevail after accidentally getting a bit too into the flow and busting some traffic dodging moves that would have got me arrested if the polis had been around. In the end I do 90 miles at 14.5 mph average, a decent speed for that distance and it was great to ride lightly loaded again. I‘m not doing that route again though, I much prefer empty countryside to city sprawl.